DILEMMA OF A WIDOWED MOTHER

              Last night I was watching an episode of Mahabharata. In this episode, the Pandavas who were staying at Varanabrata had just got to know that the entire palace was built up with candles, dry grass, and cotton. So they promptly anticipated Kauravas plan to kill them along with their mother. Initially, they were shocked to learn how much hatred their own cousins bear in their heart against them. After recovering from initial shock the agitated

Pandavas were trying to find a way to get out of that death-trap at the same time cursing the Kauravas. Eldest Pandava Yudhishthira was on the verge of extending an order to give Duryodhana and his brother a taste of their own medicine. But to their utter disappointment, their mother Kunti stopped them.  She cried to her sons if the Kauravas bore so much hatred against them wanted them to die then they would die, at least they would pretend so.  Kunti said, ”after your father died we went to Hastinapur in the hope of a family. we got a family but no love. We were given shelter but we were not welcome.  Even if we manage to tell on Duryodhana, then what? The king is his father. He will never take any action against his own sons. The king did not punish him when he tried to poison Bhim. This life is more precious than a throne. If we keep staying at Hastinapur we will have to spend the rest of our lives under the threat of Kauravas.  It is better to live in a cottage peacefully than living in a palace full of wicked people”.  So the Pandavas pretended to have died in the fire of Varanabrata.

              Now I was wondering why Kunti forced her sons to set back. All she had to do was to complain to Bhisma and he would have just overthrown Dhritarashtra and coronated Yudhishthir as the king of Hastinapur.

            But it was not that simple. Bhisma was bounded by his promise that he would always serve as a “Sevak” to the throne and never rebel against it. And Kunti behaved like any other widow mother in India who had sons to protect but no husband to help with the job and relatives from her husband’s side who acted like vultures in order to hold on to the property. This is quite a common scenario in India- a widowed mother is thrown out of her husband’s house along with her children by her husband’s brother. Even when her sons come of age and are strong enough to take revenge, to possess their rightful position she forbids them to do so. Why? “we are happy with what we have. What do we need more? Whom will you fight with? With your own uncle and cousins?” these remain common words of a mother.

           Moreover, in the Indian scenario it is a common thing if a son protests and fights with his deceased father’s relatives for property or any other possession, it is always the mother who is held responsible for bad parenting. Society will accuse the mother of provoking her sons. Even in my surroundings, I have witnessed that a widowed mother happens to be quite afraid because she does not have her husband, a male protector by her side. So, she accepts all the ill-treatments and misjudgements meted out to her and her sons in fear of other members of the family. 

        In Mahabharata, Kunti acted in the same way. She knew if they went back to Hastinapur someone is destined to die. Either her sons or her parenting.